Impossible

I is proving a little hard to write about. Sure there are numerous words out there that begin with the right letter but the blog muse seems to have wandered off for the evening, perhaps for an icecream? Who knows!

Tomorrow Ikea is coming to deliver some furniture including a shelving rack for the under-the-stairs-cupboard where everything cleaning related is stored on one tiny, overfilled and leaning at an unsafe angle shelf. Is it sad that I am so looking forward to putting up that shelfing rack? Or just natural since an iron has missed hitting me on the head several times as it toppled off the leaning shelf.

Happiness

We all have our own idea of what makes us happy. For some it's a pair of Manolo Blahniks, for others it's doing something nice for a stranger.

For the Count it's a clean nappy, a full tummy, a convenient thumb and his snuggly blanket.

Gorgeous and Green

To prevent a reoccurence of yesterday, the FB, the Count and I went for a walk through the parks to a fantastic playground about 2 miles away. Usually at this time of the year the grass is brown and dry, and everything has a sort of brittle, dried out quality to it; but because we've had so much rain, the grass and everything is still lush and green.

This photo was taken about 5 minutes walk from my home; another 2 minutes walk, and the view would have been of a burnt out abandoned car.

We spent 3 hours in the playground while the FB checked out all the climbing frames and slides but as we took a picnic with us, and it was such a beautiful day it didn't matter.

On the way home as we searched for an icecream van we walked through the grounds of this house. I couldn't tell you what it is called just that it is set in one of the parks we walk through and the gardens are lovely.

Then, beside the church where Sir Walter Raleigh's head some believe is buried, we finally found an icecream van.

F is for ...

Folk of the Faraway Tree - I'm reading that to the FB at present and he seems to love it. We've got an old version from 1972 and the vocab is so completely different ie "queer" gets used a lot

First Born - My plan was to upload a few photos of the FB from birth to present but I can't find any from his 2nd birthday. I suspect they are upstairs on a computer somewhere. Ach I'll put a baby photo up instead..or as Blogger is playing funny buggers, perhaps I won't.


Filofax - the pinnacle of stationary. Is there anything better than the smell of a new leather filofax, its pages pristine and ready for use?

Friends? - The question mark is there because today the preteen was trying to get 2 of his little chums (aged 5 and 7) to fight the FB for his (the FB's) water pistol. After it was pointed out that this was not on they proceeded to send my son to Coventry for the rest of the day. I wish I knew why they had taken against him so and if it could be mended.

E is for Embroidery

I started to learn how to embroider yesterday with help from a children's website. Kids' websites are much better for these sort of things because their diagrams and instructions are far clear than those written for adults. I read a lot of craft blogs and am always very envious of their skills and the beautiful things they produce. Plus I have loads of thread to use in so many fantastic bright colours

D is for dead languages, dunces and dropping names

Latin's a dead language
It's as dead as can be.
It killed off the Romans,
and now it's killing me.

Did you have to study Latin in school? I did it for a year when I was 12 and was so bad at it that I was put into the class for pupils too stupid to study Latin. A shame really as I seem to recall rather enjoying it. All I can remember of it now is "amo, amas, amat" and "Ecce, in pictura est puella nomine Falvia" (please excuse my spelling, 12 was a long long time ago). Actually the year that I failed so badly at Latin was also the year in which I had lunch with the Queen, but that's another story and one that may fall under the letter Q if I'm stuck, which I probably will be.

The ABCs

I feel that my writing has lost a little bit of something recently. This is probably because my life revolves around family, cleaning and the West Wing which is rather limiting for blog entries. So when I read on domesticali that there is a new meme doing the rounds called Encyclopedia of Me which requires a post a day for the month of August I was hopeful that this might get me going again.

A is for Abroad

I've promised this a few times before - where I've lived..

I was born in the Western General Hospital in Edinburgh. My mother worked there as a nurse before I was born so knew the staff and was helping out making beds a few days after I was born.

Middle East

We moved to Doha, Qatar before I started school. Water came to your house in a tanker, minor road were just tracks in the sand, electricity cuts were the norm, rats were everywhere, and then there were (Aunty do NOT look) these.

As well as Qatar, I've lived in Riyadh in Saudi Arabia and Tel Aviv in Israel

North America

When I was 18 I moved to the US (against the expressed wishes of my parents) to Kalamazoo in Michigan and boy was it cold! A few months later I moved across the state to Detroit and within days I left and went up to Ottawa to stay with family in Canada.

Europe

OK let's see, I've lived in Epstein and Bönstadt near Frankfurt am Main, working as an aupair firstly with 18 month old twins, and then with 2 young children; and Maastricht in the Netherlands.

The UK

Apart from those well known centres of culture Edinburgh, Crieff and London, I spent 3 years in Northampton studying at Uni.

B is for Babies Crying and Cooing

The Count has the most adorable cry. He's still got a sort of newborn cry which doesn't have the same lungpower as an older baby and when he's very tired he doesn't bother crying, instead he just lies there saying "mwahhh" which frankly is too cute for words.

When the FB was four months old he stopped sleeping through the night and started waking up every few hours for no discernable reason. We tried everything from moving him into his own room, to taking notes of how often and much he fed, and even, to the disgust of the health visitor, tried Gina Ford but the FB refused to cooperate and nap at the appropriate time. Eventually we had to go the hard way which was to leave him to cry at night. It took a couple of nights of lying in bed listening to him scream himself to sleep (which were horribly hard) but he got over his nightwaking.

Both of them (well the FB doesn't any more but he did when he was a baby) coo, smile and laugh at something that no one else can see.

C is for Cleaning Ovens

When I lived in Tel Aviv I had a job as pot wash in a very popular bar in Tel Aviv port. As jobs go it wasn't bad, the pay was good and the only dangers came from broken glasses the waitresses would put in with the dishes and the unwelcome attention from Benny the greasy cook. He had a weird obsession with wanting to cook me a "white meat" meal. So anyway, one day the bar got a notice saying that they were getting inspected by Environmental Health so the whole kitchen had to be cleaned. A lot of the food served up was fried and the walls above the fryers were caked in grease which meant a special alkelai cleaner needed to be used. I was given rubber gloves to do this but as I was cleaning the walls the stuff was running down my gloves onto my arms, and as I watched little pocks were being burnt/melted into my arms. I remember the weird tingling feeling and looking down as they appeared. I also had a big one burnt into the joint of my thumb where a hole had let the cleaner through.

So oven cleaning??? Well today's Motivated Mum's list had oven cleaning on it, and as it is the first time I've done it since we moved, and I'm still speculating as to whether the house was cleaned before we moved in, I used a seriously strong cleaner on it. As I cleaned I felt a tingling feeling down my right arm but fortunately this time there wasn't anything there. Phew!

Not thrice but five times unlucky

The landlord must despair of us. Within the first month of us moving into the house we have:

• lost one set of keys and had to call him out to let us in, just as a thunderstorm arrived
• locked ourselves out a few days later when the frontdoor was pushed closed with the keys still in it, unfortunately on the inside (the door locks automatically). We had to call a locksmith to come and jimmy the door open
• had to call out an electrician when we noticed the shaving plug in the bathroom nextdoor to the FB's bedroom was buzzing and getting rather warm.
• had to have the landlord and two of his workers, come round to sort out the patio not once but twice. First time before the floods and then yesterday they were back taking up the stones and refilling and levelling the ground that was devastated by the waterfall.
• And now we need a plumber to take a look at the dishwasher which isn't behaving itself.

This is getting ridiculous!

But, the patio is finished, the washingline is back up (just in time as the Count is now in cloth nappies) and the sun is shining (said as the dark clouds begin to roll in....)

(and thank you to all of you who left your commiserations on Monday's news.)

I've been thinking a lot about a friend recently. There are a lot of things around my home that remind me of her including a wicker basket with a teddybear on the front which she gave me for my birthday; and a copy of karma sutra that she gave me just after she found out that MrV and I were a couple.
I've been thinking about the time she visited us in Maastricht and we sat in a cafe having breakfast and she collapsed with the giggles because trying discarded pieces of wax on as pieces of jewelry was very funny.
I've been thinking about how every Friday after work she would drive us back in to the centre of Edinburgh because a bar we would go to had a free buffet and hell it was cheap way to eat.

She died on Saturday night after a long fight with cancer. RIP my friend.

Did I tell you I'm a rain god?

What did we do to anger nature and get all this rain Meggie? Well, we moved house that's all. For 4 1/2 years we lived in a flat with no garden, and for 4 1/2 years we've had beautiful summers. This summer we move to a house with a garden and as I put the key into the lock for the first time the raindrops begin to fall.

I'm thinking of advertising our services to drought regions. They just need to provide us with a house and garden.....

Organise me, please!

So my quest to become organised continues. Another home, another plan; this one is called Motivated Moms. Basically it's a calendar which a list for each day of stuff that has to be done. Some of it isn't relevant like coupon clipping, and some needed translation from US Eng to UK Eng ie the weekly purse clean out which I completely misunderstood, but it has got me doing things that I wouldn't previously have even thought about such as washing the front of the dishwasher. Ok I've never had a dishwasher before (note drinking straws do not cope well being washed in a dishwasher) but even if I had I doubt I would have thought of doing it.
Today one of my chores was to clean the bathroom windows. Inside is fine, I can reach them but the outside ones pose a bit of a problem as the windows either open outwards or upwards.

The whole thing with the neighbouring children is still ongoing. The older child is here at present playing with the FB. In fairness to him he is very good with little kids and seems to have limitless patience for playing with playdough and duplo. The other little boy is avoiding here like the plague after I had words with him yesterday. Ah well.

And still it rains.

"S all right for ducks!

this morning it rained, and rained and rained. And then it rained some more. And just when we thought it couldn't rain anymore it showed us how wrong we could be. That is a waterfall coming down into our backyard from the field above.

(the river opposite flooded its banks)

gorgeous sunshine now though

The fly in the ointment

Of course there has to be one.

We share a back field with the neighbours on either side, both of whom have children. They all play together (including a preteen boy who is very fond of playing with the FB which does feel a bit weird) in the back field but also in our back yard which is meant to be private. Now it is fine that they all are in there when the FB is out, but they've taken to using it as a shortcut when he isn't there, and being an intensely private person I'm not happy about that. There is also a problem with one of the children who has taken an immediate dislike to the FB (not enough of a dislike for him not to come round and play with all the FB's toys), calling him names and trying to isolate the FB from the other children. I don't know how to handle all this. I don't want to appear standoffish and therefore cause problems for the FB but I also don't want my backyard to become their playground and I certainly don't want the name calling etc to continue.

Any suggestions?

Back

Woohoo we've got internet (and television too) AND it's stopped raining. We've still not finished unpacking. There are boxes of stuff lying about, but not that many, and none of the book boxes have been unpacked as the bookcases are still lying in pieces in the loft.

I promised a photo of the books and here it is. This is only 2/3s of them. The rest were still safely sitting on their bookcases waiting to be taken off so the shelves could be dismantled.

That's Froggy by the way wandering in and wondering what on earth we are up to.

My mother in law found us a gorgeous park near us complete with cricket grounds. It is like being in a little village somewhere in England when you see the cricketters in their whites. The difference between our old home in Tooting (twinned with a crater on Mars) and this place is incredible.

I give you - the view from my kitchen window. There are, to my father's disappointment, no fish in the stream opposite.

Very Quickly Then

Am at my parents in Edinburgh for a few days while MrV does his stint as best man up north...

Move went pretty well. Finished dismantling bookcases at 3am last Thursday - photo of pile of books to follow. I wish I had a photo of the packers faces when they saw them! 60 boxes of books had to be moved.
Mother in law arrived on Sunday just in time for MrV and I to come down with a stomach bug!

Oh and well if you've been watching Wimbledon you'll know how the weather has been. I swear, we move into a place with a garden for the first time in over 4 years and what happens as soon as I put the keys in the front door, it starts bloody raining and doesn't stop! Arghhh

But the view from my kitchen window (yes I'll post a photo) is fantastic.

I'll be back sometime after the 12th when Tiscali finally get round to switching the tv and internet service back on.

4 Years

Today it's our wedding anniversary(flowers, fruit, linen or electrical appliances depending on what website you read). Actually the electrical appliances one is quite fitting as MrV bought me the second series of West Wing. I got series one for Christmas and only really started watching it at the beginning of the week but am very much hooked.

Preperations for the move are going pretty well. Ok the house now resembles a very badly organised charity shop (specialising to my shame in diet coke cans and bottles) but all the relevant utilities companies have been contacted.

The Count has been rather naughty of late and refusing to sleep all day until the early hours of the morning; he feels he would much rather stay awake and scream for hours on end. Where is the mute button when you need it?

Ohmmm

Imagine if you will a calm, collected space. Perhaps there is a bubbling stream, some willow trees, all very green, very calm, very peaceful. Ok, now imagine a more jaggedy space, the stream has become a roaring river full of rapids and violent waterfalls, and the trees have that winter look - the one that makes their branches look like witches fingers grasping for the sky. I currently inhabit the latter, but with the help of my cross stitch (works like meditation I find), lorryloads of chocolate, and Miami Ink I am working on leaving that land and moving into the more peaceful one. And it does work, until I remember that we are moving house in less than 2 weeks and the list of things to be done now takes up 5 pages in my notebook. However, and we must be Pollyanna in these situations (though I must confess to loathing the book as a child) and look at the positives..

1. The packers have been booked so at least we don't have to try and pack our over cluttered flat (including 2000 books)
2. Stress is very good for losing weight.
3. The house has a dishwasher. Have I told you that already? And a dryer! Utter bliss.

Now I shall pick up my needle and cotton and return to the lotus position. Ohmm

All Change

So we get the Count sorted out sleepwise - that allnighter was a oneoff but he's been pretty good only waking up at 3.30 and again at 6, and what happens? The FB comes down with something and is up all night crying because of stomach cramps until eventually at 7am we take him to A&E to have him checked out. Of course as soon as we enter the hospital grounds he cheers up and is back to his normal self by the time any medical people see him. And he's fine..all day until half an hour ago when the Count fell asleep and the FB started crying in pain in his sleep again..

I'm off to print out a copy of the Geneva Convention which I shall then read to both boys emphasising the illegality of sleep deprivation.

(there is a plus side to this though, the FB has finally started taking calpol at home. In the past the only way to get him to take it was either to have nurses administer it, or disguise it in yogurt or pink milk)

10 till 5

He slept through the night!

Liz's Meme

One-Word Responses

1. Where is your cell phone? couch
2. Relationship? closeness
3. Your hair? messy
4. Work? householdishnesses
5. Your sister? strong
6. Your favourite thing? sleep
7. Your dream last night? HAH!
8. Your favourite drink? coke
9. Your dream car? chauffeured
10. The room you're in? living
11. Your shoes? birkenstocks
12. Your fears? many
13. What do you want to be in 10 years? resolved
14. Who did you hang out with this weekend? parents
15. What are you not good at? loads
16. Muffin? chocolate
17. Wish list item? servants/sleep
18. Where you grew up? world
19. The last thing you did? laundry
20. What are you wearing? clothes!
21. What are you not wearing? shoes
22. Your pet? penguins
23. Your computer? annoying
24. Your life? wonky
25. Your mood? calm
26. Missing? chocolate
27. What are you thinking about? nothing
28. Your car? feet
29. Your kitchen? cluttered
30. Your summer? PIMMS
31. Your favourite colour? depends
32. Last time you laughed? forgot
33. Last time you cried? forgot
34. School? done
35. Love? yup


Tagging anyone not done it.

D-Day

We have been abandoned. My parents left 2 days ago to return to Edinburgh so now I have sole care of two little boys during the day. Truth be told though, it's not been that bad. The FB has made it to nursery for the last couple of days practically on time, has attended a birthday party and gotten into his first fight in Soft Play (he actually stuck up for himself hurrah!); the Count on the other hand is determined to watch the effects of sleep deprivation on a 30something woman up close.

But who cares because....we have a new home (pending references of course). It's huge with a garden and loads of storage and we move at the end of the month. And yes Angelfeet it's still south of the river.

(and Caramaena I am so glad I wasn't the only one who found that episode of Dr Who scary!)

Interview with a couple of mini vampires

the FB impersonating Tom Cruise in the Great Cherry Massacre

The Count, exhausted after a night of grumping and pooing

Oh so very wrong

I don't know what Tom Hanks or Steve Martin were on about; life is not a box of chocolates, nor can it be compared to a merry-go-round or a rollercoaster. Life is, in my opinion, one of those wheels in a hamster's cage - you run and run and run as fast as you can and don't get anywhere. The Red Queen said it best in either Alice in Wonderland or Alice Through the Looking Glass "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!" That is exactly how I feel about life at present, AND I have assistance in the form of my dearest Mama who is down staying with us until next Monday then she returns back to the Frozen North (aka Edinburgh). And that scares me. How on earth am I going to

• look after one rather contrary, argumentative and stubborn 3 year old
• look after the Count Sir Grumpalot
• look for a new house (becoming more and more pressing as our deadline of the end of the month looms)
• look after the housework and the laundry
• stay reasonably sane and pretend to be a togetherish type of person.

Any ideas? It feels like no matter how much housework and laundry I do there always seems to be more, especially with the housework. And then there is the actual packing and moving. I'm in denial over them (of course I need to find somewhere to live first). I think I may have to beg MrV to pay a moving company to come and do that bit.

So after Monday, if you're looking for me, I'll be sitting in the corner, rocking backwards and forwards holding on tightly to a very large bottle of booze.

I need a new changing bag.

The house is strangely quiet. The FB is out somewhere with my mother (who is staying with us for 2 weeks to help out), the Count is (as to be expected for it is daylight) asleep in his moses basket, and I have given up searching for a new house for today and am reading "The Secret Life of a Slummy Mummy", I should be hanging up the laundry and getting dinner ready.

Over the last few days I've written so many posts in my head, most of them about life with a baby and all of them have been relegated to the rubbishbin in my brain.

Instead possibly a flow of consciousness (I can not spell today at all)...

stitches have pretty much healed hurrah! The FB is behaving much better (he became incredibly disobedient for a few days and moped and whined whenever told off), the Count has worked out how to breastfeed (I do so wish that La Lerche or whatever they are called would admit that it takes time to learn how to do this) and last night slept from 1.30 to 6.30. The flat hunt is going terribly - it seems if we want to own our own home (in a size slightly larger than a matchbox) then the best we can hope for is living in a crackden which is what we were offered today! And renting a 3 bedroom well if we can afford the rent then the travel costs are astronomical and if we can afford the travel then the rent is thousands per month. So I have no idea what we are going to do and we are running out of time, and as MrV has a. loads of freelance and b. a wedding that he has got to attend, he hasn't got time to look. I think what I need is a glass, no make that a jug, of pimms and a PA.
As for me, well I am reading 3 books at the same time, and cross stitching this picture of Wandsworth Common. Maybe by the time the Count starts school I'll have it finished.

Well that was fun!

first flat - tiny, dingy, badly decorated and miles away from public transport
second flat - gorgeously decorated with a huge kitchen but in a council estate with some rather dodgy characters hanging about.
we gave up on the third.

plus sides? Well the FB was fantastic. We had to walk for several hours and he was incredibly patient about it all and only occasionally complained that he was running short of energy. The Count screamed throughout the first viewing but slept through the second, and best of all - let me have a good night's sleep last night.

So back to searching again.

The House of Moths and other stories

I'm fairly sure that we are currently sharing our flat with most of the moth population of South London. From cute, dinky, little ones up to the big, furrybodied monster moths, they are all flapping about our place giving the cats a well earned workout. Shame we can't put up notices and declare ourselves a butterfly and moth farm, and thus open to the public (at a small fee of course).

The Count has settled into a nighttime routine. Unfortunately this routine seems to be: sleep fantastically and silently during the evening, wake up for a feed around 10 - 11pm, go back to sleep (again silently)then wake up as soon as parents go to bed, fill three nappies in quick succession, demand more food, then sleep making as much noise as possible so parents don't sleep fearing that the Vampire Baby is about to wake, until dawn when silence descends and the FB wakes up. Repeat until parents are nervous wrecks. This is a slight improvement on his first week of life I think though I could be hallucinating from sleep deprivation. We've taken to having a radio playing all night on Radio 7 (BBC radio station with plays, etc running all the time) in case the Count was unnerved by the sound of silence. Was Bela Lugosi this demanding I wonder?

And tomorrow we go to look at some flats. One in Dulwich and two in Sydenham. And like most of you I have no idea where these places are or what they are like. We shall have to wait and see.

Tory MPs and Vampires

Thank you all for your lovely congratulations, and yeah you're right perhaps Peanut isn't such a good name for him anymore. The only thing that I can come up with is Boris purely because of the hair, the Peanut, as far as I know, has not insulted Liverpool or anyother town since his arrival though give him time.
It's been a wonky few days. He was born late Saturday night and we escaped hospital on Sunday (hence why I could post) and since coming home he has shown his true colours - he's a vampire. Sleeps all day then as soon as his parents think about going to bed he wakes up and that's it until the small hours when he crashes for another nap that Garfield would be proud of.
And the FB? He's coping remarkably well with all the changes. Actually far better than I am I think. He's been a bit clingy and whiney but hasn't turned in the grump from hell that his mother has become.

Ah the Count has awoken, I must be off to await on his every shriek.

Introducing.....

the Peanut


arrived late last night, measuring 54cm long and weighed in at a whopping 9lb14oz

Anguish

The FB has taken to screaming hysterically when his father leaves in the morning, holding on to the gate at the top of the stairs and screaming "daddy come back" at the top of his lungs while sobbing desperately. He repeats it at nursery with yours truly, hanging on to me and crying to go home. But his father has to go to work, and I have to leave him at nursery - for his sake - it's not much fun at home with a mummy who can't do anything, so everyday I have to walk out and leave behind a desperate little boy and it does horrible things to my heart strings. I know it only lasts a few minutes and then he is back to his usual self but it is hard not to turn round, go back in and take him home. At least he has people around him to give him cuddles and he knows that I'll always come back for him.

The Week that Was

During the last week we have

• Had two stomach bugs (MrV and the FB). Despite being vomited on I managed not to catch it.
• Got one eviction notice - Landlords are selling up and moving on and we have until the end of June to find a new home.
• Washed lots of baby clothes, sheets and towels.
• Almost put the pushchair together
• Spent a large portion of each morning sitting in a cafe in Tooting Bec waiting to pick the FB up from nursery - saves walking home and then back up that Hill again you see, and they serve rather yummy cookies.
• Thought that every single ache, pain and Braxton Hicks was "it" starting. It hasn't. Am still roughly the same size as the average aircraft carrier (even MrV has taken to calling me HMS Karen, you can imagine how well that went down!)

The Bump or why I can't leave the house anymore

honestly!

Sitting at home waiting for John

Yesterday my beloved John Lewis made a little booboo. They delivered the pushchair to us as agreed and several other things I had purchased at the same time, and then delivered the several other things again later on in the day. It is very tempting to keep the second delivery and sell it all on Ebay (alas they didn't duplicate the pushchair order) but no, so now I am stuck at home waiting for them to call back and arrange to pick up the box in the kitchen, hopefully before one of the cats mistakes it for the litter tray.

Well things are a bit blahh here at present, hence the lack of posting. There isn't much to talk about really not unless you are interested in the four things going through my head

• how on earth do I get this place clean and tidy before the Peanut makes his appearance and how am I going to keep it that way afterwards?
• Changing bag decision needs to be made (pushchair was sorted, and was delivered this morning in two giant boxes). Was considering a Pink Lining one but it is out of stock everywhere grrr.
• When I started writing this post a few days ago I was becoming not a little fixated on the missing wooden pram toys and the stuff under the bed. Well I am happy to announce that two days ago the FB and I mounted an expedition to the Caverns Under the Bed and have come back victorious. The toys have been found AND all the baby clothes sorted out by age and rebagged. It's quite incredible but the Peanut hasn't been born yet and already he has more clothes than both his father and myself put together.
• the bump is now so colossal that none of my clothes will cover it. They fit everywhere else just not over Mount Everest. And yet despite this guess how many people have offered me a seat on the Underground recently. I'll give you a clue - it is the exact number of shoes owned by the average butterfly.

You see, not very exciting. My brain seems to be just not interested in anything right now except the few things above, Terry Pratchett novels, chocolate and the fact that I seem to be suffering elephantitis of the feet.

Oh and the sewing machine debacle.. I have to send it back to get the sewing needle out and the self threader looked at. It was very tempting MrsT to open it up and get it out myself but I just know that if I had done, something else would have gone wrong! It was one of those days.

When it's good not to be an elephant

1. Pregnancy lasts for 22 months. If humans had pregnancies as long we'd have morning sickness for 7 months.
and
2. They give birth to calves weighing in at 120kg (265lb). OUCH!

There wasn't any kind of zen motive behind all of that; it just occured to me that I'm actually quite lucky and that if I was an elephant (ok am currently roughly the same size as one but that's beside the point) I would really have cause to complain.

There was another "unexpected event" that took place last weekend - I tried out my sewing machine and discovered that the self-threading thingy doesn't work no matter what I do. Tried to fix it and made matters worse by unscrewing the needle and then dropping it into the machine (by accident honestly). It won't come out. Any suggestions or is it ok to leave it in there?

The Unexpected

I think I've mentioned once before that my best friend and I (so high schoolish sounding I know) had a huge argument back in October and haven't spoken since. It was a pretty horrible fight, lots of harsh words were said and at the time meant. But I read a post by Sarcastic Journalist and it made me think, so a few weeks back I emailed her to say hello. Heard nothing back and assumed that that was it, she didn't want to talk to me.
Then on Thursday night someone knocked on the door and it was my friend. She was outside London on business and had hired a car and driven for an hour to see me and sort things out! I can't say that things are the same as they were before we fought but I hope that we can salvage something from the mess.

MrV was supposed to go to up to Edinburgh this weekend for a stag party but backed out because of me and my crutches only for the groom to cancel the whole party because he's not particularly well. So instead of it just being the FB and myself squabbling at home we got to go on a gorgeous long walk through Regents Park in the sunshine.

Two faces of motherhood

What are you? A Yummy Mummy or a Slummy Mummy

Find out here

Still Here

Alas the expedition to the Caverns under the Bed failed to take place last Thursday. I did my chores, made some phone calls then stood up to begin the task ahead of me and CRAACKK my hip went. Since then it has been very touchy and quick to take offense at the slightest hint of walking or indeed spelunking (fab word that).

Oh and no baby yet. He's turned himself around into starting position but nothing happening there either. Never mind eh, 6 weeks to go

Ranulph Fiennes eat your heart out

Over the past two days I have accomplished feats of great daring do that Ranulph Fiennes would scarse believe possible...

Firstly I scaled Mount Wardrobe's eastern side equipped only with a chair. At the summit I was set upon by numerous dust bunnies and lint imps but fought them off uncovering a vast treasure of toddler clothes, christmas decorations and the prize - a bracket to attach a CD rack to the wall in the livingroom. Now MrV has something to keep him occupied over the long Easter weekend. An avalanche was neatly avoided when the stand for the moses basket disappeared down the western slope of Mount Wardrobe and then lodged itself firmly in a cervice between the mountain and bedroom wall.

Yesterday I took on the Great Sideboard of Junk and cleared out masses of stuff. Admittedly a lot of it is sitting in plastic bags in the corner but once the baby clothes and nappies, wraps, liners etc are out from under the bed the older clothes can slot neatly or messily under.

Today it is the turn of The Caverns beneath the Bed, a place to where only the most intrepid of explorers dare descend.

List of Entirely Unconnected Thoughts

1. Back in the mists of time I said something about not wanting to gain as much weight with this pregnancy as I did with the FB - 6 stone it was, which is, according to Google, 38kg. Ladies, and Gent (drum roll please) I have, with just over 7 weeks to go, only gained 3 stone (19kg) making me lighter than I was at this time the last time. And yet my clothing size says the opposite. Why?

2. The cats are being ultra-nice to me since I threatened to send them sea-mail to Australia. The main culprit is sitting to my right purring like mad and making "oh so cute" eyes at me. I am not fooled.

3. The FB is finally getting over his cold, which is good as we were drowning in a sea of white and green tissues. He has also learnt to share, not so good.

4. Back to square one on the whole pushchair front. Original plan was to get a Bugaboo Chameleon but we are saving up for MrV to go freelance so.....any suggestions? I'd like it to have a carrycot, extendable handles and a shopping bag thingy slung underneath.

5. Am very aware that I've been tagged for this real woman/mother meme thingy and it is sort of under construction. The problem is that my brain has eroded and is spewing forth a bunch of rubbish. When I have it back under control (some time in the next decade) I may be able to make a little more sense of my rambling. And possibly learn to spell.

6. The much awaited decluttering failed to happen this weekend. Am starting to wonder if I can do it myself. This however involves climbing onto a chair and I'm not sure the wardrobe is strong enough to be used as a pulley system. We shall experiment tomorrow. If I don't post for while it is because the whole thing has collapsed on me and I am buried under a pile of Ladybird books from the 70s. Please send a search and rescue team with lots of chocolate.

7. Doc has referred me to physio for hip/pelvic/leg pain. Hurrah!

Penguins Grrr!

The fourleggeds have just eaten our dinner (chicken risotto) and then puked it all over the flat. Frankly they could at least have had the decency to keep it down. Now I have to clean cat vomit off the carpet, yeah!

Anybody looking for two cats, useless at mousing and with a habit of refusing to use the littertray when miffed about something? Oh and one of them "nags" for Scotland.

Varying Shades of Beige

Things have been a little blah around here recently. The FB has come down with yet another cold so he is feeling very sorry for himself, and MrV and myself are suffering from sleep deprivation. It is not fun sharing your bed with a three year old but it's that or get up every ten minutes to give him cuddles when he cries. And we're on the lookout for spots - chickenpox has invaded his nursery oh joy!

And when we do manage to get the FB to sleep in his own bed my mind won't shut up long enough to let me sleep, instead it insists on partying all night with my bladder. Grrrrrr

So some thoughts that come to me in the middle of the night

This pregnancy feels like it has gone on for a year already and I'm starting to worry that it isn't going to end. That the Peanut will just stay on in there and I really really want my sense of smell and taste back, not to mention being able to roll over in bed without the pops and cracks of my pelvis and subdued gasps of pain to accompany me.

This weekend we are decluttering. I want rid of the rubbish in our bedroom now. I'm fed up with things piled on top of other things and just want to get stuck in.

Koalas - Isabelle you genius. I could have used this word in my list. My Grandfather brought me back a koala from Australia (they must have stopped off en route to the UK from New Zealand where they lived) which if I remember correctly, and family lore is to be believed, was made of real koala fur. It was incredibly soft but wasn't very appealing to a small child.

The other word I could have used was Kin. I come from a very small immediate family but have a huge extended family spread out all over the world. At one point there was at least one familial member on every continent bar Antartica - travel is in our blood. I'll do a post at some point on all the places I've lived I promise.

Brought to you by the letter K

I won the letter K in Peasoup's scrabble meme, and I believe (haven't checked mind) that you are supposed to list 10 things beginning with your letter with either a photo or a paragraph to accompany each one. Perhaps I should read the instructions first.

Anyway

1. MrV. My favourite K. Yes I know. MrV, three letters, none of which is the kicking k. But, MrV is not his real name, which does begin with a K so hah! Definitely my favourite K. I should post my reasons but I won't. He reads my blog and if I did list his best atributes he would either blush with embarrassment or gently point out which ones I had missed

2. Kindergarten. Most kindergartens and nurseries have an official pet whether it be a hamster, some goldfish, or in the case of the FB's, a tank of giant snails. Mine was a little different. We had a camel. OK he didn't actually belong to the kindergarten but he lived in the scrap of desert behind the kindergarten and spent his days with his head peaking over the wall watching us play. We called him Rudolf. Guess why.

3. Klutz, or to possibly invent a word, klűtzlich (to mean impossibly clumsy). I once split my right elbow open whilst shaving my legs. Need I say more?

4 and 5. When I was 18 I lived in Kalamazoo in Michigan with my then boyfriend. Alas, actually not alas, hurrah, things didn't work out and I ended up living with some of my family in Kanata in Canada.

6. Kitchens. MrV and I plan on building our own home one day. So far the only room I have planned out in my head is the kitchen. I dream of having a kitchen with enough storage, and sensibly planned too. One of the many downsides to renting is that landlords often have a very odd idea of how much storage to put in a kitchen and how to plan where the cupboards should be. Mine has also very kindly built in a catproof mouserun. I can only imagine he lies awake at night worried about the amount of exercise mice should be getting and can't because of our pesky cats.

7. karma. I have a strong belief in karma, though like most people I get the basics wrong. I believe that if you do something good in this life you are rewarded in this life, do something bad and well you get the picture. But it's not like that. Your reward or punishment comes in the next life or so they say, which is a little late I think.

8. Kan't get it out of my head (sorry I'm cheating a little) - David Bowie's Life on Mars. MrV and I have been watching the first series of the BBC program of the same name and the song is stuck going round and round in my head. Good show though. Worth watching if it comes to a tv screen near you

9. Kűchen (cakes) preferably chocolate, though not German. Am not a big fan of German cakes they are a little too heavy for me, and not nearly chocolatey icing enough. But yum cakes. and doughnuts. and well just call me Homer.

10. Kurses, it's after midnight and time for me to go to bed with my bump pillow. Goodnight all.

Mishmash

If a strange child (by strange I mean unknown rather than odd) aged about 5 was bullying your child (age 3) and the parent of strange child was sitting, reading his newspaper and ignoring his daughter, would you tell the child off? I took the FB to the local leisure centre today as he loves the soft play area there and a little girl corralled him with a giant exercise ball and wouldn't let him move until another parent told her to let him go, then she refused to let him play on one of the toys there, and finally told him he wasn't allowed to play in the actual soft play area and he was to go away. That's when I intervened and had words with her. What would you have done?



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On our way home from the supermarket yesterday the FB and I saw this tree in bloom...
A few hours later the sky had darkened and it hailed. Today it snowed!





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No Rule of 3 today done. Instead the FB and I went out. He played and I read The Book Thief and sobbed at it. Beautiful book, thanks for recommending it Nutmeg.


How do you get Blogger to behave and publish posts without messing up the formatting? Grrrr

Make Your Mind Up Will You

The Nor' wind blows and in a trice
What was water now is ice
What sweet rippling water was
Now bewitched is into glass

We used that poem in handwriting class in Primary 6 and that's all I can remember of it. Can't find it on the web alas so I can't even tell you who wrote it, but it has stuck in my head for almost 2 1/2 decades.

Last week Spring had sprung, the daffs were in bloom, cherry blossom adorned the trees and the sun shone gloriously. Over the weekend the wind started up from the north and carried the smell of snow with it. Today, ok the sun is shining as I type, but we've had thunder, sleet and hail. No snow but that may still come. We're back to winter again. Nevermind, maybe tomorrow we'll have fast forwarded to my favourite season, Autumn.

(Rules of three going very well today. Kitchen, utility room and bathroom have clean floors, or rather had. The FB is now in the kitchen with his playdough.....)

The Fly(lady) in the Ointment

I'm lazy. There, I've said it and hopefully you haven't run away in disgust. I would infinitly prefer to sit on my couch and sew or read than get off my rapidly expanding butt and do something, anything about the mess my flat is in. For years I've put it down to disorganisation but well, it is time to face facts. No amount of lists, programmes or control journals is going to solve the problem. Today I started writing down three things that I have to do then and there. No diversions, or sitting down until they are done. When they are ticked off I write out another three and so on. Has it worked? Well my bathroom, utility room, kitchen and hall are tidy, not clean, but tidy. It's a start. I only hope I can be bothered to continue.

It's not easy being green

We are experiencing a plague of frogs in our home at present. The little buggers keep turning up in the most unlikely places, a yellow one in the bathroom, a red one in the bedroom and at one point two of them were chilling out on top of the freezer. The FB is in playchef mode. He likes to pretend to cook the frogs, present them to you then whisk them away and hurl them down the stairs. Which explains why there has been a green one hanging out amid the tangle of wellies, trike and scooter.

We now return to our usual schedule

Well the parents left this morning after a very busy but good weekend.



On Friday we went for a ride on this and remarkably we got good weather for it too. I thought it would at the very least pour with rain with possibly a hurricane chucked in for good measure but as you can see blue skies! It does get buffeted about in the wind when you're at the top which is a little nerve racking, especially if, like me, you don't like heights but the view is worth it....














(It's the London Eye)

And on Sunday we took the FB to the Imperial War Museum to see the "Family Tank" it was ridden in by a member of the family, has his photo and nickname on the front) - it was very tempting to see if it could be liberated from its current home and brought back to mine; I'd rather like to see the traffic wardens try to clamp or remove a tank for parking without a ticket! But he was more interested in the submarines and aeroplanes than a tank from the 40s.

Oh, did we pass the white glove test? Well as the FB was taken out ALL DAY on Saturday by his grandparents AND they babysat for us that evening I guess the flat must have been slightly cleaner than its usual shambolic mess.

There will be a short intermission

Parents are arriving this evening for a long weekend so won't be able to put any posts up. Am off to make sure there are no dead mice under the couch bed and that the flat passes the white glove test

k

Thoughts and thankyous

I think one of the most important things we learn from pregnancy is not to take your health for granted, and I'm not talking about morning sickness here. I'm thinking of how lovely it would be to be able to sit, stand or walk without pain. I'm so very thankful that in 11 weeks or so it will all be over and whilst the sleep deprivation bit will begin, the joint pain will stop and I just can't wait. Right now I am very glad that this is short term; I cannot imagine what it must be like to live in this kind of pain every day for years on end...

Thank you all very much for your kind comments on the dreaded cold lurgy going round. It is getting better - the FB is back to sleeping in his own bed at night, and my lungs are only occasionally doing orchestral impersonations, however, much to MrV's disappointment, the snoring has not improved!

Bleurgh

The dreaded lurgy has reared its dastardly head again infecting both myself and the FB with its germs so we haven't been up to much recently. The FB is generally fine during the day but starts feeling awful shortly before MrV and I am due to go to bed, whereas I feel equally lousy during the day as at night.

Have finished all the library books but can't face the walk to the library so until I get better or MrV carries me there (am I sounding pathetic enough yet?) I shall have to rely on what I have at home. Currently this is "Diary of a Provincial Lady" which despite being set in the 30s seems eerily modern at times.

I am off now to feel very sorry for myself!

Life on Mars

It is possible, considering the differing rates of planetary revolution and movement around their suns, that yesterday, somewhere in the universe it was Friday 13th. It certainly was here, if not in date then definitely in manner.

• The FB was in sulk mode, finding it unfair of me even to ask him to try to put his socks on.
• The rubbish bins had not been provided by the landlord but had been brought home by our downstairs neighbours, and I had graffitied them with our house number. Apology required.
• It was a rainy and windy day which is never a good combination. The FB's pushchair's raincover can't cope with rain and wind and turns into a smothering layer of plastic so when the FB, after several attempts by me to keep the cover off his face, kicked the raincover off, my limited patience gave out and I stalked off down the road followed by a screaming toddler. Witnessed by another parent from his nursery.
• etc etc etc

The list is endless and the day cumulated with the FB being sent to his room in disgrace and me sobbing on the couch. All in all a horrible horrible day.

Today, despite the rain, wind and thunder, the sun is shining on our little home. The neighbours were fine with me painting the house number (we share the same house number) on the bins, and although it absolutely bucketed it down as I left to pick the FB up from nursery, by the time I had arrived the sun was shining and another battle with the raincover was avoided.

As for Mars, well the little area of SW London in which we reside has a crater named after it. No Provencal village or adorable hamlet in Tuscany for us, no, we get a lifeless hole in the ground.

A-ha!

The landlord giveth, and the landlord taketh away (in reverse).

Actually it was his son who wandered off with the wall but last night two rubbish bins appeared in our front yard. As no one else on the street has received any I'm thinking it was the landlord and consequently have painted our house number on them both (I've also painted our downstair neighbour's number on as they have the same landlord as us) before someone takes a liking to them.

Foolish me. Remind me in future not to boast about how much less painful this pregnancy is compared to carrying the FB. The wonderous hormone relaxin has kicked in making me feel like a hippo on top of a particularly wobbly pair of stilts. I'm also thinking of begging Wandsworth Council to install either a ski lift or a Stena stair lift up the hill to the FB's nursery.

Nancy Drew and the Case of the AWOL Wall

I've written in the past about some of the strange happenings in this flat; our on-site poltergeist MrsS and her penchant for bath plugs and clothes hangers, and the thing in the livingroom but last night took the biscuit...

Our garden wall disappeared.

Yup, that's right, it vanished. A waist high wall built out of roofing tiles that seperated our messy front yard from next door's equally messy yard, was there last night but this morning, all that's left is a tangle of ivy, some rather disgruntled spiders and a trail of dirt leading out of our gate and across the pavement. That last fact rather puts the culprit in the land of the living as the supernatural don't tend to leave dirt behind, ectoplasm yes, dirt no.


(credit for the title must go to Isabelle's student)

Latest books

Finally finished the last lot of library books (would definately recommend My Father's Notebook and The Kaminsky Cure - Nutmeg I think the latter is right up your street), and got some new ones out. Again a mixed bunch, a couple chicklit, one sort of political, and one from the "A" shelf.

• Not buying it: my year without shopping by Judith Levine. Levine and her partner decide to opt out of buying anything unessential for a whole year. They are allowed to purchase food, toiletries, medication, and pay bills etc, but no restaurants, cinema, dvd rentals. They do cheat a little I thought by ensuring that their magazine subscriptions are renewed just before they started, but it was an interesting read and has made me think about exactly what I spend MrV's salary on. (finished this one already)
• Something Borrowed - Tina Reilly
• Diary of a Married Call Girl - Tracy Quan
• Minaret - Leila Aboulela

Wheeeeeee!

We took the FB to the Tate Modern today, not, I hasten to add, to introduce him to the wonders of modern art, but because the Turbine Hall has these cool things in it:

They're slides! The FB had a fantastic time on them (he didn't go on either of the two above - they're for slightly taller people) and sobbed his heart out when we left. I was peeved too; I wanted to have a go but they don't let pregnant ladies on, and the exhibition will be over before the Peanut makes his appearance.

(photo courtsey of my lovely MIL)

Ahhh so cute and tiny! Did he really wear them once?

We got the FB's baby clothes out of the loft at the weekend in preperation for the arrival of the Peanut. Yes, I know he's not due for another 14 weeks but MrV was prepared to go into the loft on Saturday and who knows the next time he would be willing to go up there. Anyway, the clothes are down and sitting in the corner of the bedroom waiting to be washed and put away except that we don't have anywhere to put them. At present we don't actually even have space to park the Peanut let alone his clothes so I fear that at some point in the next 3 months we are going to have to have another radical clear out. The hard bit is that most of the clutter is infact baby and toddler clothes that have been put aside to be used again and I don' t want to chuck them out and buy new ones. But something has to go, the space under the bed is jampacked, and the top of the wardrobe is so heavily overloaded that it has a rather scary lean now.

It amazes me, almost daily, how different this pregnancy is from the FB's. At this point with him I couldn't walk up hills, found most sleeping positions very painful, and could only walk for very short periods of time. There has been so much less pain this time round not only because my hips failed to do the whole dislocating thing, but also there's been no round ligament pain, pelvic or back pain. Hurrah!

Whinging Pom alert

I have a dream, admittedly probably not the same as Dr King's as mine involves shopping. I would dearly like it if the apparel I have bought would continue to fit when I get home. In the last 10 days I have purchased

• 2 pairs of maternity jeans - one just a little on the small side, the other needs drastic hemming
• 2 maternity tops - both shrunk on their first wash (at 30C), one so badly it had to be taken back, the other only a little. Note to self do not buy any more tops from Next as they always always shrink.
• a pair of shoes (discovered old ones leak terribly when it snowed) - despite being the same size, brand, colour and style as the old ones, these fit differently and are rather on the large size (I thought your feet were supposed to swell during pregnancy, obviously mine shrink).
• 2 pairs of maternity bras - normally my downfall; bras usually fit in the shop then, once home, either inexplicably expand so much that each cup can be used to carry several pounds of potatoes, or shrink to the size of eggcups thus creating that four breasted look. Yum sexy! However, this time I got measured so, 3 days later, the bra still fits and the straps don't fall down. Hurrah!

Obviously the weirdness that was in my livingroom last week also affects clothing sizes. Either that or I'm going to have to lay off the chocolate. Or join a blind nudist colony.

Siehst du den Schnee? (Do you see the snow?)

One thousand abject apologies for keeping you all in the dark about what happened when the door opened. I had an unexpected, all day visit from Mr Braxton Hicks yesterday and contrary to what the pregnancy sites say, it hurts (I strongly suspect that the people who write for these sites are the same people who lie to you about periods, round ligament pain and well everything else). So what I wanted to do was to have some snappy quote from The Eyre Affair (one of the characters is called Braxton Hicks) but as alas I couldn't find a relevant one you've got the one above which works because...today it snowed. Oh it comes from a book called Der Kleine Baer by Else Holmelund Minarik and as a 17 year old au pair I used to read the book every day to a pair of 18month old twin girls over and over and over.

Anyway today we woke up to snow and believe me even this grotty part of town looks good when covered in snow. Now you may recall, as I think I may have mentioned it once or twice, that the FB's nursery is located part the way up the hill, towards the top part alas, which is a workout on its own on non-snowy dry days, but when the path resembles a Christmas cake (decorated in litter, not fortunately today of the plastic, pink, buzzy kind) and your pushchair contains a 3 year old adamantly refusing to walk, the hill starts to take on a kind of mythological status (I'm thinking of the bloke who has to push a ball up a hill for eternity and unfortunately can't remember his name but I'm sure that you all know exactly who I mean). So after the FB was changed (he managed to fall over twice in the snow when he was in the mood to walk) and deposited at nursery there was no way I was going to walk back down the hill especially as the pushchair, or rather my personal zimmerframe as I like to think of it, gets left behind, therefore into a cafe I went. Such a lovely treat you know, going to sit in a cafe by yourself without a little one demanding a never ending stream of biscuits, muffins, cakes, the toilet. Oh nothing happened in there, no crazed gunmen ran in demanding free doughnuts or anything like that; no the worse thing to happen was that, and I admit this with great shame, I discovered that I quite like the new song by Take That "Shine" (it doesn't have Robbie Williams in it which is probably why it is actually good).

Where was I? Oh yes the door..... are you all sitting comfortably? OK well standing in the doorway was nothing. Nope, that's right, there was nothing there. Still I didn't go to sleep that night or many nights after until the first call to prayer sounded (at dawn).
Sorry!

Things that go bump

I had a really bad night last night. I woke up somewhere around 2am with a feeling that there was something not right in my home. The feeling was so strong that it took me quite some time to pluck up enough courage to get out of bed to do a walkaround. All the rooms were pitch black except for the living room where the blue glow from the button on the front of the TV cable box gave off enough light for the outlines of the furniture to be seen. The middle of the couch that I usually sit on (and where I am sitting at present) was in darkness and giving off vibes of simply pure evil. I turned round and walked out, went to check on the FB and then returned to bed to lie wide awake for another couple of hours. Every once in a while the FB's door would thump as if someone was pushing it from the inside but each time it happened I would check on him and nothing was there.

This morning the creepy feeling in the flat is still there, and MrV told me that he has felt a bit odd walking around in the middle of the night.

But it put me in mind of a night about 14 years ago. I had watched, stupidly, Amityville 1992 which revolves around a living room clock taken from the original house. When the clock struck 3 (am and pm) horrible things happened. Now when I watched the film I was in Saudi visiting my parents and had forgotten to bring my watch, so my mother kindly lent me her little travelling clock which unfortunately had the same sounding tick as the clock in the film. One night I was feeling particularly creeped out and couldn't sleep so at 3am I was wide awake with the lights on in my room with one eye half on the clock when the bedroom door opened.

Random acts of typing

It's Monday again and frankly this morning's walk to and from nursery lacked a little something. Maybe it was because no alleged killers ran past us covered in blood, perhaps it was the lack of sex toys lying about in the street or maybe it was just because the sky promised snow but gave out nothing. This, ladies and gent, is just not on. I want our walks to be, well I was going to say stimulating, because otherwise I'll have nothing else to tell you.

In the interest of bank accounts, and spousal nerves I'll give you a quick public announcement. If you are in any way tempted by art supplies DO NOT read Victoria Finlay's Colour. She dots her book with mentions of Winsor and Newton who I googled. Don't do that either. You may find yourself drooling over one of these .

The fairies have exchanged the children back again. The FB is back to his normal adorable self. He probably asked "why" just one too many times.

The Changeling Boy

Once upon a time there lived a little boy who was the personification of sweetness, goodness and all things that parents wish their children to be. Then one morning he woke up and decided that that was that. He had had enough of being nice and now it was time to be a three year old. He argued that black was white and vice versa, dictated the terms under which his family would live, developed personality quirks that would keep psychiatrists in jobs for years, demanded, sulked, refused and whined at everything and everyone in his path. Until one day his parents had enough and shipped him off to his grandparents.
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I wish!

How do you keep the damn things up?

Bought a pair of maternity jeans today. They sit under the bump and have the elastic stretchy bit at the side and they keep falling down. My only xxl belt (bought to keep trousers up after the FB was born) barely fits round the bump and digs in whenever I sit down.
Any suggestions?


I realise I usually post about all the horrible things that happen in our neck of the woods, but something wonderful is happening.... We are getting a Cafe Nero. Does this mean that we are going to be dragged kicking and screaming into the enlightened, cafe culture age away from the greasy spoon? The best thing about Cafe Nero is that they usually have a toilet complete with nappy changing facilities which as the supermarket still hasn't opened theirs, and the library requires you to be accompanied by a librarian to unlock their facilities, this can only be seen as a good thing. I give them one week before they close it for “renovations".

That freaky weirdo

6 weird things about me huh? Well I asked MrV who is usually very good at coming up with my faults and he couldn't think of anything except for the whole shark thing which has been pretty well documented and we don't really need to go into that again do we.

1. Accent
Today someone asked me what part of Canada I am from. This happens more often than you would imagine, except if the questioner is Australian, New Zealander or South African and then they ask what part of their country I'm from. Oh yes and except if I'm in Chelsea then I have an incredibly posh accent. None of this is put on it just happens. Curiously when I'm taped speaking I think I sound Dutch. I have, however, never had a Scottish accent.

2. Words
I hate certain words. They fill me with a certain feeling of revulsion sort of like touching a very cheap polyester material. Ugh. Words are "fleece", "snack" and the phrases "winning hearts and minds" and "princess of hearts". There are probably others, I just can't think of them.

3. Colour
I have a compulsion to collect art and craft stuff in lots of different colours. Last year when I started doing grown-up (instead of cross stitching pictures of baby elephants, Winnie the Pooh etc) cross stitch I went out and collected samples of all the colours available in Anchor thread. I now have boxes full of them, most of which probably will never be used, but they look gorgeous. Same thing with quilting material - I have loads of squares of the stuff and I love putting them together to see which combinations work the best but I just can't bear the idea of actually using them.

4. Time
I don't wear a watch. I own wrist watches, and an old fashioned pocket watch on a chain (can't remember the proper name for it) but I never use them. It was really hard when I first stopped wearing a watch. I felt naked and was constantly worried I would be late for appointments but 10 years on, and with the advent of mobile phones that come with clocks I am fine and now if I do wear one I find it gets in the way.

5. Food
MrV holds firm that I am rather a picky eater and I disagree. OK I don't like oranges but the smell of them gives me splitting headaches so I think that to not like them is ok. I don't like fennel and nor do I like Brussels sprouts but I think I'm ok with all other veggies. Especially carrots. I love Abel and Cole carrots. I think I am picky when it comes to meat. I hate meat with fat on. Really hate it. Especially when it comes in a thick wedge such as on chops. And I don't eat pork (except sausages but only because beef sausages are not so tasty). So we live mostly on a vegetarian diet with occasional meals of chicken or fish.

6 Last one......my dream job - Air crash investigator. I don't think I need to say any more

OK I tag....Angelfeet and MrsT

How do you explain that?

It's been pretty quiet around here. We've all come down with this lovely cold which kicks the feet out from under you for a few days so we've mostly been holed up at home watching non-stop Charlie and Lola DVDs. MrV and the FB did venture out on Saturday to visit MrV's brother in North London giving me a few hours peace and quiet.

The FB and I were back off to nursery this morning, back along the route where the weird thing happened last week (still no police signs up, still nothing in the local press) when the FB looked up at the church at the end of the road and asked "Mummy, why is there a picture of an aeroplane taking off on the side of the church?" I looked up and saw what he meant; the aeroplane as he called it is actually a cross. So of course he wanted to know what a cross was (predominantly a symbol of Christianity he was told, and wisely he left it at that.)

After nursery was over we started off back down the hill to pay a visit to the library. Got towards the bottom and I saw a pink, long thing lying on the pavement in front of me which looked, I thought, like the handgrip off a kid's bike, until the FB started kicking it and standing on it and asking what it was.... And then I took a closer look and realised it wasn't a handgrip but a giant, pink dildo. How do you explain what that is to a three year old?

Library books for this week are

Colour (Travels through the Paintbox) by Victoria Finlay. It looks like she goes through each colour and looks at how they were made in the past, and any interesting historical info she could find for that particular colour. I read her book about precious gems in the summer and loved it.

My Father's Notebook - Kader Abdolah. Another random from the "A" shelf. The title captured me; anything to do with stationary has me hooked!

The Kaminsky Cure - Christopher New. I'm not sure why I picked this one up but I did and will have to see how it goes. The story of a German man and his love of Nazism which is understandably not shared by his Jewish wife.

And finally

Thursday at Eight - Debbie Macomber. This week's chicklit.

The "tomb" went back today but I have my own copy which is slowly getting worked through.

Am off to think of 6 weird things about myself as have been tagged by Kirsty

Let it snow

This was supposed to be a sweetness and light post about how it snowed here in South London, about how much the FB enjoyed putting on his wellies and stomping through the last few patches left as before it all melted; and how he loved making snowballs and throwing them a metre in front of him and then stomping on them on the pavement but..

On the way back from picking him up from nursery two men ran past us. One of them shouted something and the other, well the other had been seriously injured. The whole of his neck was bright red with blood. Behind them blue lights were flashing and crowds had formed to gawp at whatever had happened. What had happened I have no idea. I didn't want to hang about with the FB. I feel awful that he saw the injured man and that I didn't realise what was going on until they were too close to us for me to hide the FB's eyes.
When we came out of the supermarket 20 minutes later an ambulance was parked at the side of the High Street. I think they must have picked up the injured runner.

I don't want to live here any more. We'll be moving in the summer

PS more snow due tonight so cross fingers for a happier, fluffier post

Reasons to be Grumpy; one..two..three

I am grumpy. I have been for several days now and it's not shifting. Why? Well...

1. My bra straps keep falling down. They are on the tightest they can possibly be and yet every few minutes I have to pull them back up. And because I had to tighten the straps the underwired bit keeps jabbing me in the armpit (yes I know you aren't supposed to wear underwired bras during pregnancy - that's the subject of a grump at a later date).

2. It is winter so guess how easy it is to find maternity jumpers.... Apparently pregnant women become invincible to cold, sleet and wind. As I can no longer do up my coat the rain/sleet rapidly makes my top become just slightly more see-through than it was intended to be, flashing the annoying bra (above) at all the passersby - poor people.

3. On Saturday I realised that two of the cross-stitch symbols for the humungous picture I am doing, when printed out, look identical. All of the work done on those symbols has had to be unpicked and restitched. And now the bloody needle's gone missing and I can't find it anywhere.

4. Our local supermarket shut their toilets for months to redecorate them. I presume they spent this time painting a small (1mm x 1mm) square on the ceiling as there is absolutely no visible improvement in the squalor. They have shut them again for repairs.


On a lighter and happier note as one must always look for the silver lining on the grey wintery cloud (even if the cloud stretches from one side of the horizon to the other)...

1. MrV looked after the FB all weekend, did the shopping, cooking, changed the litter tray, took the rubbish out, vacuumed, mopped and fixed the wonky toilet seat. I sat around and grumped.

2. The Peanut has stopped sitting on my bladder and using it as a space hopper, and has found a more comfy place to relax and do what ever fetuses do. I can now get dressed without grimacing in pain.

3. Despite being a grumpy cow I am also quite calm and stress free!

Rain

It was a beautiful sunny day in South London when I stomped up the hill with the FB in tow on our way to nursery. Ahh so many untruths in that one sentence...rained today but unusually the raincover on the pushchair actually managed to keep the rain off and not attempt to smother my son; staggered up the hill is probably closer to the truth than stomp, mostly because the FB was sitting in his pushchair safe from the elements whilst I, his poor mama, got wet and cold.

It rained yesterday as well which, as MrV had the day off, was rather annoying. Yesterday was also scan #5 (hopefully the last one) day and we got to see the Peanut again. He's grown a tad since our last viewing and become a little less bashful about showing off his bits, indeed we have a photo of them for embarrassing him with later in life. But he's fine and there wasn't any sign of anything that could have caused the increase in neuchal fluid that was there previously. Oh and Ann they warmed the gel up!

Was meant to be A Meme for Monday

A - Available/Single? – Neither, been with MrV for centuries now.

B - Best Friend? – Following a very furious email exchange in October I am currently bestfriendless.

C - Cake or Pie? Cake definitely. Chocolate sponge cake with chocolate icing and lots of whipped cream.

D - Drink Of Choice? Diet coke closely followed by chocolate milkshakes.

E – Essential Item You Use Everyday? My diary Snobbery Personified.

F - Favourite Colour? Don’t have one but I prefer bright colours

G - Gummy Bears Or Worms? Gummi bears.

H - Hometown? – Edinburgh, Scotland

I – Indulgence – MrV says chocolate, I think it’s a necessity.


J - January Or February? February – because it has Pancake day in it.

K - Kids & Their Names? A big problem in our house as the Peanut still hasn’t got a name. All the names I like MrV hates and vice versa. The FB thinks we should call him Postman Pat George, both parents vetoed this one.

L - Life Is Incomplete Without? Chocolate

M - Marriage date? 2003 and was very heavily pregnant at the time. Never ever get married when pregnant.

N - Number Of Siblings? 1

O - Oranges Or Apples? Apples. The smell of oranges makes my head hurt.

P - Phobias/Fears – Great White Sharks in swimmng pools, ponds, rivers, streams, lakes……

Q - Favourite Quote? Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy

R - Reason to Smile? There is a cream cake in the fridge all for me, hurrah!

S - Season? Autumn. Not too hot, not too cold. All the leaves changing and falling, and a autumnal smell in the air.

T - Tag people? Aunty Evil

U - Unknown Fact About Me? I was an arms smuggler when I was 12. We (me, my sister and some local expat kids) found some bullets in the desert in the UAE and I took them back to Qatar in my handluggage

V - Vegetable you don’t like? Kale, brussels sprouts, fennel

W - Worst Habit? You mean apart from my chocolate compulsion?

X - X-rays You’ve Had? Right knee, right hand, teeth, and chest. Have broken my right big toe, 3 fingers on my right hand and a bone in my right hand. Hmmm right side does not have much luck!

Y - Your Favourite Food? Leaving aside chocolate as one must occasionally, my favourite savoury food is Pollo con Fungi from Strada

Z – Zodiac Sign? Virgo

Books for a blustery day

Very windy day today with lots of rain chucked in for good luck. The FB and I stopped in at the library on our way back from nursery and got some rather good books

• Fear and Trembling by Amelie Nothomb. Found this on DomesticAli's blog and thought that it sounded rather good. All about a Belgian girl working for a year in Japan. I read Hokkaido Highway Blues: Hitchhiking Japan by Will Ferguson during the Summer and loved it. Japan is somewhere that has always intrigued me so am looking forward to reading this one.
• Blue Shoes and Happiness by Alistair McCall Smith. During my pregnancy with the FB I lost my ability to concentrate but found that I could read Smith's books and loved them.
• Monkey Wrench Gang by Edward Abbey. Part of my plan to read books I wouldn't ordinarily pick up - I pick up a book at random from a shelf in the library. Currently I'm on A. Have found some real gems this way, and of course some utter crap.
• 1001 Books you must read before you die by Peter Boxall. The other part of my plan to get out of my chicklit reading rut. Will take a few hundred years or so but I would like to read most of the books listing in this tomb.
• Cents and Sensibility by Maggie Alderson. With so many worthy books I needed something trashy to balance them out and Alderson does the trick perfectly.
• Arthur and George by Julian Barnes. Next month's book for the library reading group. My future brother-in-law read it and really enjoyed it.

Normality resumed.

Everything is back to normal again today. The FB has reinstated his constant request for the tv to be on, and worries that he will miss some vitally interesting programme, so I know he is his usual self. He tried to convince me that he still had a headache this afternoon but as he was grinning at me at the time I think he was trying to pull a fast one.
Fabulous brother-in-law sent me a copy of the Beiderbeck cd down. The original one, that I listened to weeks ago was actually for my father for Christmas - I was listening to it just to check it worked ok as it was bought second hand off Ebay. BiL has copied it just for me and now I have some fantastic music to listen to, and for the FB to boogie around the living room to. Yippee!

The House of Pain (and Puking)

Flylady and all my other plans for the day had to take a breather. The FB has a migraine. As I type he is lying on the couch asleep which I hope (cross your fingers) that that will get rid of it. He had magic yogurt (yogurt mixed with calprofen) at 10.30 but promptly threw it back up again. Poor little guy. I feel so sorry for him. He threw up in the supermarket all over himself and his pushchair and then had to ride home in the vile pushchair but sitting on his coat. And he's been so brave despite the pain and the vomiting.


many hours later....he woke up, looked about him and then complained that he had already seen whatever programme that was showing on CBeebies aka he was feeling much better. One day we will work out what exactly triggers his migraines and avoid it but nothing at present leaps out as an obvious candidate.

A series of unconnected thoughts (part one of many)

I think I may have been slightly over-ambitious with the cross stitch and hoping to have it done by the time the Peanut makes his appearance. It is hard going. I think the problem is is that there is so much detail that I am changing thread colour every few stitches which is slowing me down no end. So don't be surprised if you see that one on my to-do list for next year.


Yesterday bliss of bliss, AuntyH and SuperUncleG took the FB away on an excursion. They were meant to visit a children's petting zoo but it rained and so instead they went to our local gym so the FB could play in the soft play area. We (being MrV, the FB and myself) were all a little nervous about him going away so it was good that it turned out they only went down the road; and as it was the FB missed us not a jot. In fact he refused to come home until it was dark so he could see all the street lights. I believe that SuperUncleG had to accompany the FB and his favourite teddy Cedric the lion to see what a gym looked like, with G carrying the lion....a sight I wish I had been there to see.


Over Christmas the Peanut stopped kicking. He's been at it since the evening of the day after the CVS, well more a squirming feeling rather than a kick but it has been a regular occurance, and then just before Christmas Day it stopped. Don't panic, he started back up again about 3 days later but it's been pretty irregular until 2 days ago when instead of the wriggling, squirming feeling there have been some pretty violent boots to my tummy, diaphragm and bladder. I guess he was just lazing about, taking in the whole Christmas vibe and going through a massive growth spurt. Only 9 days until the next scan and we get to see him and see how much he has grown etc.

To resolve or not to resolve, that is the question.

I'd rather not if it's alright by you, instead I'm compiling a list of things to do this year.

• To get some sort of housekeeping routine in place before the Peanut is born. I rather like the Flylady and when I don't get sidetracked, her system works. What doesn't work for me is having a Control Journal but writing a list every day in my diary does, so I'll do that instead.


• Get the finances under control and get saving. After all the Peanut needs a trendy expensive pushchair you know (and I found out yesterday that you can use the carrycot as an overnight cot for weekend aways MrV so very useful for the Stripy Twins' wedding.)


• Because I am going to have so much free time on my hands this year I've stupidly begun a new cross stitch picture. This one is a monster - 600 x 400 (stitches, about a 1 metre by 70 cm landscape) and is taken from a photo I took in August in one of the Commons near here. The FB liked to spend hours standing on the bridge throwning acorns into the pond and in August MrV was on his sabbatical, so the picture has meaning for us.

• To log all the books that I've read this year. Don't expect to see that much worthy literature or indeed that many books read after June.
• To learn how my sewing machine works and make something with it. My problem is is that I tend to leap in at the deep end; rather than start with something simple like making a hanky, I'd rather make a baby's changing bag complete with adorable picture thingy on the front.
• And finally, develop patience and a more calm disposition to life.

too much do you think or doable? We shall have to wait and see!