31 August 2007

U, V and W

U is for

I have a rather gorgeous blue umbrella with white polka dots scattered across it, and it never gets used. Why? Because

a. it is very hard to hold an umbrella in one hand, push a pushchair with the other and hold the FB's hand in my freakishly missing third hand.
b. umbrellas hate me as much as I hate them, and at the slightest breeze any umbrella I have stupidly tried to use, turns itself inside out. Thus becoming more a raincatcher than a rain protector.

Underwear. Why, when we can send a man to the Moon, can we not invent an underwired nursing bra that doesn't up the risk of developing mastitis? One is desperately in need of something to divide and lift as the whole breast-belly caboodle has slumped together in one squelchy mess. Oh that sounds so appealing doesn't it!

V is for

Volcanoes - the FB's current interest. We are on our second watching of a National Geo programme about predicting volcanic eruptions. I am being bombared with questions on pyroclasic flows, lava types, and why those people (the volcanologists) are wearing funny clothes (so they can go near the volcano without getting burnt)

Voluptuous
which leads us nicely to

W is for

Weight for it...it's not coming off! Help! I have a wedding to attend in just over a month and am pretty much still the same weight as I was after the Count was born. Exercise doesn't work, dieting doesn't work. So much for that rubbish spouted that breastfeeding helps you lose weight fast. Pah! I feel that I look like a young Ann Widdecombe (but without the henious blonde hair or Tory beliefs)

7 comments:

angelfeet said...

Umbrella - it's only now, two years after I ceased to push a buggy on a daily basis, that I realise that I do have the ability to hold an umbrella and therefore it is worth tucking one in my bag.

Can't help with the weight loss, I found the second time around it was harder to shift (hence my still rotund belly).

Mrs Thistletwat said...

I can't use umbrellas because I have always been married to tall blokes, and the spokes are a perfect eye-gouging height.

As for the nursing bras, I have 2 unused ones as my breasts wouldn't play, and now have a pair of spaniel's ears up front instead.

Why haven't humans evolved so we get an extra hand upon giving birth, and more hours in a day? It'd be much more useful than the mastitis and perineal soreness that we have to endure.

Aunty Evil said...

My boobs hang on my belly anyway, and I am neither pregnant nor breastfeeding! :)

As for the weightloss, buy bigger clothes, that always works. :)

Caro said...

Well at least you look young.

You've just had a baby. Who would expect you to have lost the weight?

meggie said...

Sorry, but I burst out laughing at the heinous blonde hair!
I have umbrella probs too- mine are mostly caused by family borrowing mine, & they are never seen again!

Fairlie said...

I agree...that claim about breastfeeding helping you lose weight is a complete furphy. I only started losing dramatically AFTER I stopped breastfeeding - so for the whole of the first year of each of my daughters lives, I stayed huge. I'm sure it will be different in your case, though!

Isabelle said...

Ah, I only wish I were the same weight as I was after giving birth...

I agree about the breast-feeding myth, though. Very trying. Sympathy.